Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
