There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
