Duck Duck Cougar?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
