Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
