is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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