I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
My life is pants optional.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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