I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize