he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
