i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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