You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
