Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
