Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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