I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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