dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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