Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i will never coherently bang her
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
