The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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