Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
