someone threw a dead crab at me
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one