oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
