I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize