Pappa wants mamma naked
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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