is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
