Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
