Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
