Yo dont text me then not text me
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
