I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
