i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
