I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
