Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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