OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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