so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize