I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize