I bet he comes in French.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Verdict: uncircumcised.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize