Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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