you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
i out mim tonsoeep
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