Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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