Too much gin, very little bucket
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
whose parrot is this?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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