I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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