i just had sex bonerless
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
