you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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