??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
