So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
