listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
