Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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