just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
