so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
