dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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