You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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