Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Just high enough for therapy.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize