No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
