did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
