She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
