no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
