careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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