why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
