Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize