How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
