no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
